Spirit

At times, I sit alone
I smoke and drink on my own
My only company is me
And a Spirit I can't see

In the cold, the wind and rain
I'm sheltered here, under His wing
As if I have no family
As if no one else is close to me

I shut the door to the outside world

And I cry myself to sleep
No word uttered between Him and me
Just a frequency I can't hear
Still I lie to myself He's a friend to me

Every day a new excuse
Not to leave my little room
Out of mortifying fear
That this Spirit won't be with me

Instead of coming back home
To see anyone I love
I rather greet this Spirit with a smile
I am happy, I swear I'm happy
He is not made of lies like I am

But I cry myself to sleep
I love someone I rarely meet
When he's with me, he's out of my reach
Unlike this Spirit who never leaves
A Spirit ordered to dwell with me

I'm so happy.