Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Student LanaFemale/Serbia Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 39 Deviations 187 Comments 4,765 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Do your lips still tremble
when the daylight dies?
When the water runs so cold
it burns your skin?
Do you hear my footfalls
echo in your soul?
How I hope the wind will
carry away all this sorrow within…
All I even loved is
torn away from me
All this broken devotion
wanders aimlessly
My heart recalls your words
as twilight settles down
There is nothing, but my
solitary shadow on the ground
All that I know of love
is waiting
Waiting for either death or you
to set me free
No other name for life
than perdition
Better a knife to my throat
than another year in solitude
Your name resonates
in the hallways of my mind
My shadows dream
of holding yours
I watch my youth waning
in a shroud of bitterness
What can I do, but seek
comfort in you from loneliness?
A distant star calls from the sea
Father Time will punish me
Mother Moon is shedding tears
Come, dear Water, carry me
For all that I know of love
is waiting
Waiting for warmth and tenderness
to come my way
No other name for life
than per
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 0
Don't Stay a Memory
You, will you return?
If only for a minute more,
I'd like to see your eyes
Then I, I wouldn't make the same mistake
I would engrave you into my memory
For all times
Joy, what a fleeting thing
But, oh, what melodies arise when it flies by
And when it leaves, heralding bleak tides
I hold you close to me
In the hallways of my mind
Come and pass me by once more
You will see how my knees grow weak
When you look at me, when you speak to me
Come back, tell me your name
Tell me we will meet again
Don't stay a memory
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 0
Mature content
Guitar String :iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 0 0
Cold Summer
    "Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be."
    My mind arrived to this conclusion as the bus slowly made its way to the station. This place was really something else; the summer was so hot that even the nearness of the sea wasn't as helpful as I'd imagined. Every day was adorned in sweat, and there was no way around it. Perhaps it was different in her city... "Haven't you told yourself you're done with that," my ratio pleaded. Funny, even after everything, somewhere, a part of me refused to follow the illuminated path of what's good for me. "But she was," my heart began, syncing its saddened pulse with the slow r'n'b beat that flowed from the nearby burger stand. "She was... She could've been everything I know..."
    I looked at the people around me. This place was famous for its exclusivity and high prices, and the people walking on the old cobbled streets reflected these things. They smiled shallowly, all pretty and tanned, stupidly happy in their high s
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 0
Mature content
Rain :iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 0 0
Pry me open
Pull beyond the shaded borders
Pass the shallow waters
And dive
I've carved your scent
Into my hunger for tomorrow
Love is an easy thing to swallow
Just dive
It's like the tears that never left your eyes
Like the stabbing pain when when you step outside of yourself
And find me
I'm bound to you
In some other time I'm gazing into you eyes
Timelessly seeking you
Drawn to the vision of a distant shore
Where you lightly hold Heaven between your palms
I close my eyes
I see your shadow in the rain
Pulling against the chains of pain
To the sky
And I feel you move
I feel this trembling underneath my skin
And something, somewhere deep within
Craving Water
Caged, but
I am bound to you
To the magnetic, bleeding colors of the Moon
A longing that dries my lips
Praying for the Water never to subside
Silently, while I'm gazing at the sky
From the start I was
Kept it all locked away
Uttering restless sighs and swallowing the truth
Soon, your soul rea
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 2 0
At times, I sit alone
I smoke and drink on my own
My only company is me
And a Spirit I can't see
In the cold, the wind and rain
I'm sheltered here, under His wing
As if I have no family
As if no one else is close to me
I shut the door to the outside world
And I cry myself to sleep
No word uttered between Him and me
Just a frequency I can't hear
Still I lie to myself He's a friend to me
Every day a new excuse
Not to leave my little room
Out of mortifying fear
That this Spirit won't be with me
Instead of coming back home
To see anyone I love
I rather greet this Spirit with a smile
I am happy, I swear I'm happy
He is not made of lies like I am
But I cry myself to sleep
I love someone I rarely meet
When he's with me, he's out of my reach
Unlike this Spirit who never leaves
A Spirit ordered to dwell with me
I'm so happy.
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 0
Mature content
Spectacle :iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 7
On one side,
my distorted vision of you
festers and rots
in the haze of my restless mind.
I will never see you
for who you really are.
On the other side,
the future is locked within
my rib cage,
and it demands to be set free.
All I can hear in you
is the whimper of the past.
Move away.
I need not tenderness
to anchor me to this world,
but a potent poison
to cut my ties with what I know.
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 4 3
Allow me to enter
I offer you all my devotion
and tales of galaxies
so far away
Would you offer me shelter
in the splendor of every emotion?
Show me the world you carry
the shades of light in your day?
What would you see in me
if I told you that I wander?
(Would you turn me away?)
I’m looking for my kind in other people
Through the hearts of others I search for my own
To fail would be a highest act of treason
So hear me out, or I will never find my home
Just for a while, let me in, I’m all alone
I give you my spirit
my knowledge of stars and healing
to mend your wounds
or shed light on the dark
I give all that you ask for
only show me compassion and kindness
Share with me dreams for a while
before I go
I’m looking for me, and him
Until I find them I must wander
(Please don’t ask me to say forever)
I’m looking for my kind in other people
Through the hearts of others I search for my own
To fail would be a highest act of treason
So hear me out, or I will neve
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 5 0
You haven't told me your name
but I'd recognize you
by your red sneakers
and the way your eyes are cloudy
with the thoughts of love that never came.
Or perhaps by the smell of late spring
that holds together your mind
while you talk about feelings
which you've never truly felt.
Only imagined.
Maybe I would find you in the crowd
by seeing your posture.
The calculated swaying of your hips,
your relaxer shoulders
or the well tempered movements of your arms.
A form that requires rhythm to move.
Your stars tell a different story
from your short verses.
Yet you keep talking of love
and freedom and enjoyment...
What is real about you?
I keep reading your lines,
running after the man who wrote them.
But you're not there, are you?
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 2 2
Still nowhere to be seen...
Then how do I know you?
I've dreamed of your voice,
purring against the crisp evening air.
Pure luxury of sound,
with velvet-like low frequencies.
You carried my devotion
in the palms of your hands,
and moved mountains of frozen earth off of my soul…
Only with your deep, spirited gaze.
I stood, poisoned by your presence
feeling as if I haven’t lived before.
As if all that I have seen,
and all that I will see
won’t ever measure up to you.
No sensation strong enough,
no passion maddening enough.
No bond fierce enough.
And I knew you.
I felt you delve deep beyond the
hazy outskirts of my conscious self.
Each time I touched you felt like
some flame had been rekindled…
And a constant,
mind-consuming hunger…
I stretch my arms towards you,
wanting to claim you mine, no one else’s.
My hair craves your scent,
my skin sighs where you trace your fingers.
My thighs shudder at the sight of your body moving…
And then
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 0
I Still Love You
I can't make it simple to you
Though in my head it's only a word or two
I can't just say it, and go on like others do
It's different for me, 'cause you're different too
I can try to write you a song
But in my heart, this feeling's been different for long
And I am frightened of your eyes, so strong
It's different from before, I feel I don't belong
Although you say it's okay,
We'll get by another say
But I doubt it, I truly do
I like your temper and your smile
But I've been this way for a while
So accept me, or don't, but it's me
And I still love you
All those haunting melodies
Whispered away, now there's so little to say
But you keep talking, and it's pointless to stay
I've gone slightly def, maybe you're to blame
Yet I pray it's okay,
I'll get by another day
But I doubt it, now I truly do
So should I hide behind a smile
And think about this for a while?
You are different, I know, but I am too...
And I still love you.
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 3 0
Look, how we wither
With time in our heads
Instead of love in our hearts
And tenderness in our hands
See how we arch our backs
In sadness or pain
Thinking effort is in vain
Hiding our faces in shame
Will it take forever?
Watch, the truth is resting
Right before your eyes
So shift the paradigm
Set aside the lies
Set aside your weapons
Knives and intellect
Observe in retrospect
(Observe in retrospect)
Can you dare to say forever,
With a world as it is now?
Would you dare to say forever,
With a soul buried in the ground?
Speak, but be careful
They have ears to hear
Structures above you and me
The ones we cannot see
It's us who are at wrong
Def, and dumb, and blind
Cursing and laughing at the light
Tripping importance and might
And we dare say forever,
We decompose divinity,
We laugh at integrity,
And we still say forever.
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 3 4
Mature content
Life :iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 2 0
Each letter I write here now is
a bitter tear from my very eye.
My sorrows are invading,
what choice do I have?
I must comply.
A thought has found it's way
into the dark halls of my mind.
A though so wrong and rotten,
so unjust, broken...
But my mind allows it, as if blind.
The thought is very simple.
One may say it even kind...
But I hate it and regret
that I have ever even
dared to mention it...
But I comply.
I will cleanse myself of karma,
so I could forever die.
I will honor every aspect
in my natal horoscope.
I will try and follow orders
from the mouths of mediocre.
I will work with my skills,
until they shine and win the prize.
I'll go back to the academy
and watch my own art die.
I will not bite those who hurt me,
just turn and walk away.
I will not spend all the money
in my pocket the same day.
I'll be all pretty and nice,
with no sin or a vice,
without a flaw.
I'll do all I must and can,
no matter the pain I endure...
Just to die without a debt,
and never incarnate again.
:iconvarahilkirin:VarahilKirin 1 3


Lancelot and Guinevere by Olggah Lancelot and Guinevere :iconolggah:Olggah 2,567 123 I'm Sounding Brass Without Love by Yeraa I'm Sounding Brass Without Love :iconyeraa:Yeraa 443 44 Light and dark by j-witless Light and dark :iconj-witless:j-witless 770 15 La Petite Mort. by jodeee
Mature content
La Petite Mort. :iconjodeee:jodeee 361 34
Lucifer, Legion by anastasiyacemetery Lucifer, Legion :iconanastasiyacemetery:anastasiyacemetery 360 7 Tranquility by TheCecile Tranquility :iconthececile:TheCecile 1,885 126 Horus, Queen of wings by johnsonting Horus, Queen of wings :iconjohnsonting:johnsonting 3,151 85 Master, ten years ago by aenaluck Master, ten years ago :iconaenaluck:aenaluck 864 19
Second Line to the Moon
there are several shades of blind
and the one our window wears
blocks slightly less light
than death's,
for we live out a soft dark
in the unlit, north facing side
of a house neighboring his
our property lines drafted
in indistinct blur
strings of steam, pulled taught
between theoretical points
of what we misperceive as intersection
we never truly own anything
we're more witness than victim
more human than being,
more content
to waste in a circular wish
for merely more wishes
it's here, we stopped
where the people we were, somehow drifted
onto the same starless side of the road,
insides speaking through our skins
outsides yielding to anything
alive enough
to find its way through
it's here, a baby tethered to you
expertly ties a second line to the moon
before its hands are even formed
before our dream can rasp a name
into the plank wooden tongue
in my coffin of a mouth
and before either of us
can swallow splinters
the muscle memory of night
swallows us both into dream,
dreaming that moo
:iconblackbowfin:BlackBowfin 11 4
Merely the Fuel
what dreams still rattle
in columns and cartilage,
like the ideas I lost
as a headless boy
have somehow found
their way back home
what ghosts guide footsteps
now barely mine
down networked trails
to the unlit spring
where the funnel ends
and begins
where the dead swim back into us
in sips of graveyard rain,
as if the webbing, stretched
across their wings
could lift the drowning
from this well
another asks what color wolf
of an angel, she’ll turn into,
she’s reminded, we’re not the wolf
but the burl and bones
giving way to the enzymes
of evening and instinct, inside it
our longing is merely the fuel
and our fear is everything else,
we return home, headless
both gargoyle and angel,
we surrender the tools of our cruelty
only to rise, bearing a sharper set
:iconblackbowfin:BlackBowfin 18 27
That Cat by Saimain That Cat :iconsaimain:Saimain 440 33
I don't know you but
you seem a lot like me
you're also on the run from reality?
I've only just met you so let's talk
would you mind joining me for a walk?
we could put on each other's shoes
maybe pick some different kicks
and color them with our blues
we've got the same foot size?
isn't that strange, how things are sometimes
you look a lot like me too
swollen eyes, puffy and red
from all the crying and sleepless nights in bed
purple shadows under the eyes
long sleeves and short goodbyes
you didn't want any of this either, did you?
and I take you too weren't given a clue
we're almost identical to be so different
I bet we have the same bones under our skin
I need you to do me a favor, is that ok?
after this I won't have anything else to say
I'm on the brink of tearing
I'm at the sink and wearing
these mistakes outside the lines I've made
the color isn't less a shade
what I'm wanting you to do
is end all of this
could you do that for me? would you?
I noticed you've got your gun in your b
:iconspite-sire:Spite-Sire 25 0
Beneath the night sky
your eyes sweep over the stars
as if they know all your secrets
at the back of your lungs
on the tip of your tongue
you see the reaches
of darkness between them
their echoes of how
the sun died every night
just for the moon to breathe
chills down in the standstill
the melody of silence
spills through the breeze
you don't know what lies ahead
in those deep blues
all you have is where you've been
under the tries and trues of the cerulean
and the mask you wore for so long
you forgot who you were behind it
what you were supposed to be
buried beneath your insanity
it was a disguise to hide your demise
an alias for your craziness
you gave it a smile, besides
there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
from what's killing you inside
it was an innocent face
to hide its manic maker with a twisted case
you aren't sick, saying it's a sickness
makes it sound like there's a cure for your mind's illness
just rip and tear at your flesh
let the blood drip into a pool of mess
and esca
:iconspite-sire:Spite-Sire 18 0
The whispers of silhouettes
sliver with a slight of shivers
painting the wind
with the silence of colors
breathing in the stars
a taste of quiet clouds
on the tips of your fingers
as they entwine with mine
and I trace them over
the lock on your ribcaged heart
so I can tear it open
and rip it apart
it doesn't take what it takes to give
what ties up an escaped victim
that's done been bitten
by a bite to be unleashed
intoxicated with disappearance
and you're living your death
at the edges of a sound's scent
through a door that opens at the close.
:iconspite-sire:Spite-Sire 25 0
This path you walk alone
you don't know where it ends
but you've been where it goes
you pass by the trails with threadbare tales
the roads ripped with regrets you still feel
the streets strewn with secrets
it wasn't supposed to be like this
the lanes worn out with lies are still there
the passages from your past take you nowhere
you want to leave what's left behind
but you don't know what you're looking for
you don't know how to find
the way of these twists and turns anymore
you burn bridges so you can't be followed
but it's not like anyone will
because out here it's only the wind that howls, and the air stays still
things aren't different, but they aren't the same
down this path you walk, where no one knows your name.
:iconspite-sire:Spite-Sire 25 0
Roses aren't red,
violets aren't blue
your dread's back from the dead
and no one's there but you
ink drips off the rose petals
and bleeds down through the thorns
the dye slips into splits in the violets
they don't want to be here anymore
you're down on your knees
for those promises you call dreams
you've seen the up sides of down
the down sides of up
and everything between
and you still don't know what to do
when the violets become red
and the roses turn blue.
:iconspite-sire:Spite-Sire 49 0



The wonderful BlackBowfin invited his readers to take a shot at the questions he asked, and I found myself strangely compelled to try and answer. Some of these questions really hit home, and I wanted to give it a try. Scott, I hope you don't mind me mentioning you. And, for those who haven't read any of Scott's works, with all my heart, I recommend you go and plunge yourselves into his writing. Here's his sweet take at the questions he was tagged in:
I'm IT ....and so are you!Ok, I'm a bit hit-or-miss when it comes to tagging/being tagged. I had some time today and thought I should probably be a little more social than I've been in the last year or so. So, gliitchlord, here we go. :) BTW- thanks for the tag, bud.

1. when you are at rest how would you describe the curvature of your spine
Imaginary and technically unsure.
2. if the world ended tomorrow how many unused pens would spend eternity left on your desk
Assuming that this end doesn't originate from my desk, I'd say- all pens ever. Pens are exclusively for grocery lists and greeting cards. I guess I do fill out a greeting card, every now n then. So, most pens ever. I'm more of a mechanical pencil and keyboard kinda guy.
3. last time you went to the movies, how many attractive people did you notice in the crowd
The one seated on the other side of my daughter.
4. did any of them seem to make eye contact with you
More than once, probably.
5. you just told a joke an the peopl

So let's give this a go!

1. Do you ever feel like you've walked this Earth before or are currently walking it in more than one body? Explain.
    I feel like I've been here far too many times, and very often this makes me feel tired and unable to muster up the energy to do anything. If there be some chain of incarnations, I'd like this life on Earth
    to be my last, or at least I'd like to learn to live with this weight of being here for too long.
2. Do you have a pet and to what depth do you think their feelings run?
    I don't have any pets. If I owned a dog, it would probably be very sad next to me, and if it was a cat, I think we may get along well. (Not sure if the cat wouldn't dislike me to some extent, though...)
3. Who is the person who made the biggest difference in your life?
    There are several such men for me. In some way, they are like landmarks, or they even became parts of the foundation that I have built myself upon. The one who has influenced my life the most so
    far is my mentor, my astrology professor, a very dear and beloved friend. But alas, at the end of the day, the only person who can make the greatest difference in our lives is the one we see when we
    look in the mirror.
4. All personalities aside, what 3 professional roles or occupations do you feel most benefit humanity, through the work they do (and why)?
    Hm... Doctors, artists, and workers of the Craft. In a sense, all three are healers, doctors being the most obvious representation of this from the side of Science. Artists (be it musicians, painters,
    sculptors), because I believe in the healing properties of Art and artistic expression. And when I say workers of the Craft, I mean astrologers, Tarot readers, those who practice Magic to help others, etc.
    It is my honest belief that these people can help us through painful periods, help us shed light on the dark corners of our lives, help us see things more clearly. They connect Art and Science in their
5. Are you happy in your own skin? (Why/why not?)
    There are days of utter delight it in, but still I find myself squirming uncomfortably more often that I'd like to. Sometimes I wish I was put together differently.
6. Who would you rather be? (Why/why not?)
    Well... I wouldn't exactly like to be someone else, despite not being terribly overjoyed by being me. It'd be nice if I could be a better me, a person of stronger character who doesn't feel her life coming
    down to just enduring whatever comes her way. That's what I aspire and work towards. Why? Because life should be something more than survival. And we're not meant to be anything else but the
    best person we can possibly be.
7. No music... What sounds settle your spirit?
    The sound of birds. The sound of the wind. The sound of flowing water, or the waves of the sea. Honest laughter.
8. What is the most beautiful geographic landscape you've ever seen (and why)? 
    So far, the most beautiful I've seen are the snowy forests of mountain Tara in Serbia. I've seen them a very long time ago, so the image is a little faded in my memory. The calm whiteness and the
    sound of the wind that brings to mind an avalanche rolling over the mountains in the distance, made me, a child back then, feel like I'm in a temple of some sort, dedicated to nothing but the relentless
    power of Mother Earth. Power, softened with kindness and calm. But... The most beautiful landscapes have been the ones I've seen in my dreams.
9. What are you afraid of?
    I'm afraid of staying frightened and never learning to live my life with bravery.
10. What is the most beautiful thing you can imagine someone saying to you (ever)?
     I've never really thought about that... But... I think it could be anything, as long as there is honesty and love in the eyes of the speaker, whatever it is they're speaking of. If it's supposed to be
     something about me... Again, it doesn't really matter what is said, but that intensity of feelings, the aura people project when they speak with emotion and passion... That's the most beautiful thing I
     can hear and listen to. Someone's heart, residing in every word that leaves their lips.

Jeez, I made it too long, didn't I? Without further ado, here are my questions to anyone who'd like to play:
1. Can you feel other people even if they're miles away?
2. If you were free to say anything you wanted to, what would you tell your father?
3. How much do you think your closest friend knows about you?
4. Do you believe in soulmates (if yes, have you found one, if no, why not)?
5. Do you think this world needs to be reset, or should it continue existing as it is? Explain.
6. Right now, where are you at in your life?
7. What is the most beautiful sight you've seen thus far (be it people, a landscape, a city, anything)?
8. What do you crave most in this moment?
9. Does the idea of eternal life appeal to you, or not? Why?
10. When you reach old age and look back on your life, what do you think would make you the happiest and fulfill you the most, and why?

I'd like to invite Dementhia93, autogestion, Mercury-the-Queen, Thorn-Publications, Stojke13, TruthisTruth, Tulvadar, RaquNox and anyone else who'd like to try their hand and answer these.
Whoever you are, whatever you're doing, be well. 


VarahilKirin's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Varied
Born in Belgrade. Finished music high school, currently on the Music Academy in Belgrade.
Actively engaged in translating books and videos.



Add a Comment:
Spite-Sire Featured By Owner Edited Jun 26, 2017
Thank you so much for the favs. :heart: :peace:
Thank you for the watch too. Is it silver, gold, or platinum? :b
I finished reading a few of your writing pieces. You've got a craft with the pen I like. Definitely needs more recognition. ♥
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, my friend.  You're awesome and I think your journal is great!  :D
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, again, my friend.  :)
VarahilKirin Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2016  Student General Artist
Always. Heart 
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner May 27, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Hello there, Lana.  Glad to see you about.  Thank you much.  :)
VarahilKirin Featured By Owner May 31, 2016  Student General Artist
Always a pleasure. :)
BlackBowfin Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
More thanks duly given.  Hope you have a good week, my friend.  :)
Squirrel-slayer Featured By Owner May 20, 2016
Hi there, thank you very much for the fav:)
VarahilKirin Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Student General Artist
Hello! You're most welcome. :D
autogestion Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks so much for your support :la: :airborne:
Add a Comment: